Animal Welfare Phonies

When dogs want to find out something about somebody, we just smell their butt. It's fast, it's accurate and it's easy. I can tell right away if a dog is weird, crazy and whether or not I should stay away from him. Humans have all these complicated ways of finding out stuff about other humans that take forever--stuff that we dogs could figure out by smell in two seconds. They use this really stupid way of communicating called social networking. There's this thing called FartBook and every human in the world seems to be hooked on it and they spend lots of time writing all kinds of stupid things on it. It's sort of like a cat who keeps raking the same two inches of kitty litter in the box, over and over. You wonder what the hell they're doing in there.

Well, my mom is on FartBook and she got "unfriended" by a phoney named Pamela Barf. (Being unfriended is no worse than being woken up from a good nap, btw.) So, this Pamela Barf, who my mom met at the Genesis Awards last year (you know, that party where all the humans give themselves awards for doing stuff they should be doing anyway?), had an argument with Mom about Hell and hunting. She told Mom she was going to hell and that hunting is the way to save animals.

She can think what she likes, if she calls that thinking. But she can't fool us dogs into believing her argument that hunting is all that necessary or good for anybody. It's not. It's mean and it's bloody and it's stupid. So some of my dog friends on Fartbook cut and pasted her opinions on hunting and here they are, just in case there was anyone left on this planet who believes that this phony likes animals. And just as a side note? I'm no expert but I bet there's a lot of hunting in hell only it's the hunters who get hunted.

Kathrine Breeden Pam, I'm having a problem here, you became a Fan of this group? Safari Club International? you're not serious?? the photos on here are horrible. These people make me feel quite sick.

Jagt i Zululand 2009

By:Casper Skødt Nielsen

Yesterday at 1:46am · Share · See Wall-to-Wall

Pamela Bertsch

Yes, my husband and I are members of SCI. Jeff is going to Africa next April. I am not against regulated hunting. I am against poaching.

Yesterday at 8:28am

Pamela Bertsch

If you read my info section you can see what I am about. I have never hidden the fact that I am not opposed to regulated hunting. My activism has mostly to do with confinement and suffering of animals.

Yesterday at 8:35am

Pamela Bertsch

Animals in the wild never die a painless death one way or another. Where there is no regulated hunting there is poaching because regulated hunting is what brings in the funds to police poachers. It's all regulated.

Yesterday at 8:47am

Kim Tussey Carter

Katherine, just because Pam feels that regulated hunting is ok (actually, it really does help animals from starving and moving out from the forest onto the highways and getting hit by a lovely semi) doesn't mean she's not an animal activist. I've seen her work for many years and No Other Volunteer that I know have done as much for animals in their... Read More entire lifetimes, as Pam has done in the last several years. Hopes this help to explain.

I don't know you, but I'm sure you are a fan of a group, that others might not understand. It appears that you have a great passion for animals, so I know where you are coming from. But I have also listened to Pam and why she feels the way she does and I understand her and realize she really does want to help these animals from starving and being mowed over by cars, via regulated hunting. And if regulated, it stops (most) ppl from poaching, which is so wrong!

Yesterday at 10:46am

Pamela Bertsch

Thank you Kim. Yes, in Africa their wildlife is their number one natural resource. It's difficult to farm crops there, so if it weren't for the wildlife, starvation would be worse than it already is. So anything that hunters kill over there, the meat stays in Africa and it's given to villagers. So when a several ton elephant is killed by a hunter (not poacher) approx $30,000 goes into that community because the government’s trophy fees and the villagers of that community gets all of the meat hunter (not poacher) approx $30,000 goes into that community because of the government's trophy fees, etc. and the villagers in that community get all of the meat.

Yesterday at 10:55am

Kim Tussey Carter

Yes, and I know someone that came here from Africa and they used to hunt the zebras for meat. As you say, if they didn't then HUMANS would starve to death. It's all regulated and Yes, animals are dying (we'll NEVER GET EVERYONE TO BE A VEGETARIAN), but not for trophies, but for food and the $$ that they spend for licenses and and other regulatory fees, as Pam mentioned, goes back into the village also.

Yesterday at 11:00am

Pamela Bertsch

Outside of the protected preserves in Kenya, 70 to 80% of the wildlife have been POACHED away because Kenya banned regulated hunting in 1977.

Yesterday at 11:07am

Kathrine Breeden

I would be very concerned if my husband enjoyed killing animals so much that he was willing to spend thousands of dollars and fly thousands of miles to pursue that hobby!

Yesterday at 12:25pm

Kathrine Breeden

I always had the impression that governments made much more money from photography safaris these days - more tourists want to shoot photos not animals I think! They use that money to keep the poachers away and reduce the need for people to want to poach because the tourism creates employment locally.

Yesterday at 12:26pm

Pamela Bertsch

No. Eco-tourism (which you speak of) brings in only hundreds of dollars per day, safari hunting brings in thousands of dollars per day. Eco-tourism doesn't even begin to pay for the government resources necessary to protect wildlife from poachers.

Yesterday at 12:34pm

Kathrine Breeden

You obviously know a lot more about hunting than I do. Would you like to see the day when there is no need for hunting? shouldn't we animal lovers be doing whatever we can to bring that day closer?

Yesterday at 1:10pm

Kathrine Breeden

or isn't it really the case that the hunters are having too much fun pursuing their hobby? they enjoy what they do and if it came to a situation where they weren't welcome in one country because there was no justification for their activities they would be seeking out other places where they could hunt? they're not hunting out of the goodness of their hearts, let's be honest here!

Yesterday at 1:13pm

Pamela Bertsch

This is earth. That utopia will never happen here. I am anticipating the day I get to heaven where there is no more death, sickness or suffering of humans or animals.

Yesterday at 1:14pm

Kathrine Breeden

and surely the thousands of dollars to which Kim & Pam refer would be better spent on educating the people in those countries rather than killing their wildlife? we all get to choose how we spend our tax dollars don't we? and hunters choose to spend theirs on killing animals. I don't like that I must say!

Yesterday at 1:16pm

Pamela Bertsch

We want hunters to be the best they can be, so they are accurate and professional. Yes, they do love the thrill of the hunt. Have you read my two notes (in my note section) about deer and alligators needing to be hunted? I have many more examples of why hunting is necessary and will post in my notes soon. on my page with regard to this issue. --- I have a lot of hunters and huntresses on my page who have posted great facts and information. You've missed quite a few 'pj' classses. :)

Yesterday at 1:19pm

Kathrine Breeden

To me that's like saying "This is earth. There will always be wife-beaters and there's nothing we can or should do about it". You're sounding defeatist Pam, not like you!! Hopefully it will be a very long time before you get to heaven.

Yesterday at 1:22pm

Pamela Bertsch

It's not defeatist. There will always be suffering and death on this earth. I'm a realist.

Yesterday at 1:23pm

Pamela Bertsch

Kim - Too funny - Kathrine deleted all of her comments! LOLOL --- I think she got embarrassed by her ignorance. They do like to run away. --- I ended up having to block her after a nasty comment personally attacking Jeff and I on another thread, then I come back to this one and see that she deleted all of her questions on here. LOLOL --- Love it!

Yesterday at 1:42pm

Stacey Huston

Pam.. I am still seeing Katherine's comments.. Maybe if I refresh the page they will go.. but for now. I will continue to read..lol

Yesterday at 2:07pm

Pamela Bertsch

Stacey - On this thread? I still see her comments on all of the other threads, but not on this one.

Yesterday at 3:12pm

Whitney Scott

I see them too. If you can't see them, Pam, maybe she blocked you?

Yesterday at 5:59pm

Pamela Bertsch

I actually blocked her, so not sure what's going on there because I can still see her posts on the other threads. It was an all out bombing from her this morning. She was typing so fast on four threads! :)

Yesterday at 8:59pm

Juliette Abell

Maybe Katherine was embarrased by your comments. You know? Who made your way the right way? Many of us don't agree with you on this. Your after comments were bullying and nasty. Go advocate for hunting with your bff Palin. I know it's your profile that I'm writing on and you can say whatever you want on it.
So goodbye peacefully. Now make sure to talk about me.

12 hours ago

Jinky, Dog of a Hollywood Wife, is Actually Bobby Fischer's Furry Child

The mystery of my brain is finally revealed by the New York Times.

I'm really worried that my dad is not my dad. The New York Times, see below, is saying that my real dad was Bobby Fischer, the famous chess champion. If the New York Times is correct, and they usually are pretty good about fact checking, then my dad, Kevin Rooney, the comedy writer, is not my real dad.

I know I was dumped at the pound and then adopted but if my real dad is Bobby Fischer, then I finally understand why I'm so smart and can write and think smarter than my other dog friends. I'm smarter than Kevin Rooney and I've been pretending to be dumber than him because, well, our relationship works better that way. I want him to be happy and he would really be miserable if he thought he was dumber than me, his dog.

If my real mom is a Philippine chess champion and not Carole Davis, the aging actress and animal rights nutjob who investigates pet stores, then I finally understand why I'm way smarter than her too. And also why I have a mouth full of weird looking teeth and a perpetually skeptical expression on my face.

Here's my dilemma: A: I love my adoptive parents.

B: They would never accept this as truth even if it is plainly clear that the NY Times has proven it to be true. It would break their hearts and our relationship would never recover from it.

C: I could inherit a lot of money if I came forward and took a DNA (Dog, N A test)test to prove that I am Fisher's rightful heir. I could probably beat my own, real, Philippine mother at chess and prove it with that alone.

D: I love my adoptive parents more than the $36 million I could inherit so I had better just keep quiet and act dumb.

Read below:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/crosswords/chess/15chess.html?_r=1&ref=todayspaper

Fight Over Fischer’s Estate Is Taking Shape in Iceland

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By DYLAN LOEB McCLAIN

Published: November 14, 2009

Bobby Fischer died in January 2008, but his long, strange story is not over.

This month, Miyoko Watai, the head of the Japanese Chess Association, who had long said she was Fischer’s wife, had that claim certified by Iceland’s highest court, according to the Web site Chessbase.com. That would make her the heir to Fischer’s estate.

But a few days later, Marilyn Young of the Philippines said in a statement, also published on Chessbase, that she had filed a claim in Iceland that her 8-year-old daughter, Jinky, was Fischer’s child. Among documents provided by Young were pictures of her, Fischer and Jinky together and at least two postcards to Jinky signed “Daddy” that she said were from Fischer. If Young’s claim is upheld, the statement said, her daughter would be entitled to two-thirds of Fischer’s estate under Icelandic law.

The claims must be settled in Iceland because Fischer was a citizen of that country when he died, and he reportedly left no will. He had emigrated to Iceland in 2005 after renouncing his United States citizenship.

Fischer’s estate could be substantial. He received $3.65 million in 1992 for winning a match with his old rival Boris Spassky, and sponsors paid for many of his living expenses.

Chess League Playoffs

My mom wrote a satire about the animal rights movement and some people think it's real. I'm just a dog but even I know the difference between satire and a serious article. These people have cat litter for brains.

One crazy lady is comparing my mom to Jim Jones ( a really mean guy who killed a bunch of people by forcing them to drink poisoned Koolaid), calling her a bully and that all of her friends, meaning my friends, are lap dogs.

Lap dogs? Do I look like a lap dog to you? This crazy bitch thinks that small dogs are just lap dogs and I think that she is discriminating against some of us for being small. That's as bad as discriminating against people for being big or for being too big, as in eating way too many donuts.

Anyway, I'm posting my mom's joke below about a Texan nut job who thinks that hunting is a good thing. Personally, I think hunting is really creepy and anybody who thinks it's fun to shoot animals deserves one of my extremely potent fart bombs.

So not only am I posting Mom's article, I'm sending a fart missile all the way to Dallas. I hope it makes her eyes sting.

Texas Invents New and Improved Animal Rights Movement

News Type: Event — Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:12 PM PST

odd-news, satire

Jinky, Dog of a Hollywood Wife

Carole Davis, Pamela Birch and Carole Sax in happier times.

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A schism has divided the animal rights movement over a controversial and buxom AR leader in Texas. Followers of the New Texas "Christian Hunting Animals to Save Them From Starvation" (CHATSTFS) have decided to unfriend millions of animal rights activists from their Facebook pages, causing the massive site to malfunction for three hours on Thursday.

Pamela Bertsch, the founder and President of Christian Hunting Animals To Save Them From Starvation, is not your typical animal rights activist--in fact, she is so unique, she has created a reformation to give the aging and ailing animal protection movement a buck shot in the arm. "That 'ol fashioned animal rights movement just doesn't suit our Texas style of barbecues, leather boots and fun bow hunting parties," said Ms. Berstch, throwing up her gorgeous long legs in Tazmanian bat skin boots on the coffee table at her home office in Dallas. "These weirdos in Los Angeles think that they run the animal rights movement and, well, they haven't learned the Texas way of helping animals yet and I'm gonna git er done."

Ms. Bertsch, a self proclaimed anti-puppy mill demonstrator and elephant savior, finds that adherence to the antiquated rules of the classic Animal Rights movement is just too restrictive and too small for her personal Texas-style animal protection movement. News of her breaking rank with the established organizations like The Humane Society of the United States has been rumored to be a major blow to the millions of members who count on her enormous financial support and guidance on important issues like hunting, rodeos, animal testing, hog baiting, quail fighting, peacock cross-dressing, elephant toe dancing, ant farm entertainment centers and the very important program of re-homing stray urban lemur colonies in the Dallas area where she lives and shops.

The philosophical skirmish started on Wednesday, when Ms. Bertsch posted a series of pro-hunting studies funded and published by a well-known mink conservation furrier in Fort Worth with ties to Blackwater and Glen Beck. Further investigation revealed that Glen Beck has donated several million dollars to Ms. Bertsch's foundation, leading animal rights activists in N.Y. and Washington to retaliate by unfriending her permanently on Facebook. One Washington activist, JP Goodwin, attempted to negotiate the secession of the group from the established AR community, fearing that the argument might further divide activists who are, as Ms. Bertsch exclaims, "going to hell and those who are going to heaven."

The hundreds of millions of dollars at stake could mean that monies that were to be spent on fighting Japanese whale rave parties and Canadian seal club dancers might instead be allocated to a non-Jewish pro-bow-hunting coalition of Texan libertarian anti-abortionist and anti public option health care for migrant deer loyalists.

"My husband is a hunter and he gave me a brand new elk head for my birthday this year," said Ms. Bertsch. I get a nice, rare head every year. We've mounted it over our bed and when we pray together, the Elk seems to look down on us and pray to Jesus with us. We're so happy for him to be on our bedroom wall over the bed because if it wasn't for my honey-pie, he would have starved to death. It's a good thing he was killed by being shot. It's the Christian way."

Ms. Bertsch had aroused some jealousy from Jewish Animal Rights activists and the remaining two Muslim Animal rights activists when she proclaimed that the only way to go to heaven was to accept Jesus as their personal savior or they would be going to hell, where there are no animals at all. She told a very distraught Los Ageles animal advocate Carole Davis that she was "in a vortex of satanic forces because of her inappropriate affiliation with her Orthodox Jewish Cairn Terrier."

Carole Davis, the West Coast Director of the Orange County Stray Mice Society, has retreated into talks with the heads of the International Termite Protection Organization and the 45 million-member Bunnies Against Iranian Nuclear Proliferation Society (BAINPS) to discuss how to deal with the loss of such an important member of the CA animal rights movement.

"I'll never get over this," said Carole Davis, shaking her head. "When she unfriended me on Facebook, I thought the world had fallen down. I keep singing the same song over and over. 'How am I supposed to live without you?' by Michael Bolton. Somehow, we must pick up the pieces and continue this movement. The animals depend on us. It's a shame we can't work together."

Shooting of Animal Rights Protesters at Aquarium & Pet Center in Santa Monica

Jinky here: Pet stores stink worse than a truck load of kitty litter. And they're mean. They keep puppy mill dogs locked up in tiny little glass boxes and sell them to weirdos who don't know to go to the pound to adopt!

My mom was shot at in front of a pet store! I wasn't there to bite the store owner and when I find out who is the really bad human who shot at my mom and her friends, I will send them a noxious fart bomb so bad, they will never recover. My dad is offering lots of money as a reward if they can find the guy who did it. Grrrrrr.....

Below is my mom's article about the incident.

Carole Raphaelle Davis of CAPS after the shooting at Aquarium & Pet Center

Animal Welfare Protesters Shot at Santa Monica Pet Shop
News Type: Event — Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:26 PM PDT

Anti-puppy mill protesters were shot at with an air rifle at Aquarium & Pet Center in Santa Monica on Saturday, October 10th. The Santa Monica Police are treating this case as an assault with a deadly weapon, a felony.
"BB guns can be extremely dangerous and can kill if the bullets hit a vital area of the body" said Santa Monica Police Sergent Lewis.

There is a $5000 reward for any information leading to the arrest and conviction of the shooter.
Approximately thirty-five activists were holding a peaceful anti-puppy mill demonstration when violence erupted. Three animal welfare advocates were hit, including West Hollywood community organizer Ed Buck and animal welfare advocate Elizabeth Johanson. There were minor injuries. Police arrived on the scene within minutes and retrieved several two millimeter brass bullets on the sidewalk where the protesters were shot.

This group of activists, who are members of several large animal welfare organizations, have been protesting stores in Los Angeles for two years. The Aquarium & Pet Center is supplied by commercial breeding facilities in the Midwest and also uses a local breeder in Southern California that houses its dogs in substandard conditions.
Dogs in commercial breeding operations are sometimes called puppy mills, or puppy farms. Though they are often licensed by the USDA, they are considered inhumane by the animal protection movement. The minimum standards of care for USDA licensed facilities typically allow only enough room for a dog to stand up and turn around. The dogs are kept in cages for their entire breeding lives and are often exposed to the elements. Most dogs suffering in commercial breeding operations do not get veterinary care or socialization. They are often sick, injured, diseased and have malformations.

The violence at Aquarium & Pet Center occurred during a highly charged atmosphere in the state of California. Last week, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed The Responsible Breeder Act (AB 241), a bill designed to limit the number of dogs in commercial breeding facilities to fifty. The pet breeding industry lobbied against it, claiming that a limit on an arbitrary number of dogs did not address animal cruelty issues.

Animal protection advocates were disappointed in the Governor's veto, claiming that limiting the number of dogs in inhumane breeding factories would limit the number of dogs abused. The bill would have also allowed for inspections and better transparency for commercial breeders who typically mistreat their "breeding stock" and routinely under-report the number of dogs they are using. Many breeders sell directly to the public using Websites and under-report their earnings to the Internal Revenue Service.

After the shooting at Aquarium & Pet Center, an employee of the store was seen laughing at the animal welfare activists.
On Monday, a volunteer in Pennsylvania called the store, posing as a buyer and asked the owner what he planned to do about the protesters, to which he replied, "I'll shoot them all."

The verbal threat was immediately reported to the police, who have added this information to the investigation. Mr. Lee, the owner of Aquarium & Pet Center, was visited by police detectives on Thursday. He denied making the threats. He also denied having anything to do with the shooting.

Activists Ed Buck, Elizabeth Johanson and Catherine Eure

"We will not be intimidated by violence nor by threats of further violence," said Carole Sax, volunteer coordinator for the Companion Animal Protection Society. "We will stand firm for these animals who have no voice but ours. This despicable behavior will only strengthen our resolve to end puppy mills period, " Ms. Sax continued.

"When the animal abusers realize that they have lost the debate, they turn to their guns," said activist Ed buck, who was hit in the groin with a brass slug. "There is nothing more powerful than people standing in the face of danger to speak the truth. Bullets will never silence the truth."

"Any danger we face is obscene as we are participating in an anti slavery movement," said Elizabeth Johanson, one of the activists shot on Saturday. "The torment that these thousands of animals withstand in these concentration camp settings is very real and is life long. I'm out there because I would not want to live like that."

"This is un-American, " said Carole Raphaelle Davis, the West Coast Director of the Companion Animal Protection Society. "We were boycotting a known puppy mill dealer and they decided to use violence against us for speaking the truth. We have a right to speak out against the cruel practices of the pet trade industry. It's called the first amendment. The public, which is routinely defrauded by pet stores, deserves to know what's really going on so that they can make better choices when bringing a companion animal into their lives. When consumers learn the ugly truth behind the pretty storefront, they run the other way."

"Furthermore," said Ms. Davis, "we ask that consumers give the $1000 or more that they would have spent on buying an animal in a pet store and give that money to a family in need. We are experiencing the worst economic crisis of our time and there are families who need to put food on the table. Give the money to the truly needy instead and save an animal's life at your local shelter. There are five million pets killed in our nation's shelter system every year because there are not enough homes for them. This costs taxpayers $2 billion per year to house and euthanize all these unwanted animals. It makes sense, fiscally and morally, to adopt from a shelter. And for breed snobs, 25% of the dogs in the shelter system are purebred, adoptable dogs. "

Since the shooting, an anti-animal welfare email circulated on a breeder meet-up Internet group. The e-mail states that the animal welfare advocates protesting Aqaurium & Pet Center might have staged the shooting in order to gain publicity. There is no evidence to support that and the investigation is on-going.

Part of the e-mail is posted below:

"They whine like little babies about BBs being shot at them. I think it's funny. Shooting BBs at them isn't an attack. It's a little bit dangerous and someone can lose an eye, but it's ridicule. The tiniest little thing gets thrown their way and they need clean pants.I've been over the reasons before why we're being beaten by a bunch of pants-wetters."

"I hope the police find the shooters so they can speak for themselves on their motivation," said Judie Mancuso, President of Social compassion in Legislation. "In a nutshell, I think the pet trade is fearful of the animal welfare community as we expose the way they treat their animals and the underground economy that goes along with the underground breeding. Once exposed the general public is on our side."

The protesters are planning to return this weekend to educate shoppers about puppy mills.